This past memorial day weekend marks 11 years that we lost our first peanut in a very traumatic event. It is still a vividly painful memory, but clearly one of those times that God works His good in times of pain and suffering.
Even though our baby was only 8 weeks when the tube ruptured and stole ‘her’ life and left me clinging to my own, she is still very much part of us. From very early on, I felt that that sweet baby that we had tried so long to conceive was a girl, our first daughter.
It has been a very open topic for our family and from an early age Gillian talks about how she wishes she could have her older sister here on earth as a physical part of our family.
Tonight as I cuddled in bed with her, she had some serious questions regarding her older sister, “Emma” Could Emma see her and will she see her in heaven and is Jesus taking care of her while I am here, etc. She asked if Emma would know her when she got to heaven and then she asks in panic, “I will go to heaven, right mom?” So our conversations were very deep and spirit filled tonight. We prayed and she continues to pray for God to bring her a sister for us to adopt and for mommy and daddy to be up for that.
Who is this child that I am blessed to call daughter? God is really humbling me through this precious child. As I sit here looking back at the past 30 minutes, I know just how blessed I am. Thank you God.
thank you for sharing your heart – and G’s heart too. Big hugs and love to you all….. very powerful!!!
It is hard to believe it has been that long. I am just so thankful God’s will was to keep you here with us. I am so grateful to have you as my sister. And so happy that God has blessed us with Hayden and Gillian. Lord, you are so wonderful, I glorify and praise you. Love you all, Ni.
AMEN girls – AMEN
I love seeing your relationship as sisters and friends. You are both so dear to me and so dear and important to each other. Love it!